Lots of things in life can change, and then there's those big things.
You know the ones that come along every few years or so and shake your roots.
Like separating from your partner.
The one you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with, and now you're not. That's always tough. It's not just your partner you're letting go of, it's the whole life you thought you had.
Or it might be a job or career move, you've been forced into. Or maybe you chose it when you felt brave, but as it comes closer the fear and doubt are creeping in.
Or maybe you have to leave your home, sell your house of your lease is up and its not being renewed. And you're settled. And comfortable and the idea of packing all that up into a mound of boxes makes a knot so tight in your stomach you want to puke.
Sometimes things just don't fit us anymore and we have to move on.
I feel your pain. I know it can be hard. I know it can make you ache for security and create the kind of overwhelm that wakes you at 3am in a cold sweat.
Big change can shake our foundation. It can strike fear into our hearts and flood our bodies with stress induced emotions that leave us feeling vulnerable and scared that we won't make it.
It will all be too hard.
We won't succeed.
We wont find another partner, another house, another job, another life. And we imagine all kinds of horror, empty and broke, living in our car, barefoot and battered by life we're now pushing a shopping cart with what little we have left.
But stop right there.
Back it up just a moment and notice.
Notice how your fear isn't real. And notice that its the movie in your head that's creating the fear.
What if you had a new movie playing?
What if you instead of seeing yourself lonely and destitute you saw yourself surrounded by love and thriving?
What if you let yourself imagine that in replace of the old relationship, which lets face it wasn't working, hence the split, you were for the first time in your life, free and happy and pleasing yourself.
And what if that freedom and happiness led you right into the arms of a relationship that will work, and work wonderfully.
Whatever you're letting go of. What if you noticed that it has just run its course, and that maybe you were tired of where you were, and this is just a stepping stone into something far better.
A better house.
A better job.
A better life.
And why not better?
Why not more aligned?
Why not a happier you?
The future is imagined.
And you are the imaginer. The greatest influencing factor on our future is our imagination. I know this isn't what we've been taught.
We've been taught that the future can be just as painful and as much struggle as the past, and we've experienced that for ourselves too.
But that's because we're creating a future based on our fears from the past.
We're planting the seeds of those fears that grow into our future and then when they sprout we're saying, "see, it is just as bad as I knew it would be."
We fear change. We watched out parents fear change and we copied. We fear break ups, we watched our parents go through, or our neighbors, or friends, and we fear it because we believe that's the way its done.
But its not, the only way.
That's the unconscious way.
That's the hard way.
There is another way.
A conscious way. A fearless way that says "fuck this old scary movie, I'm making a new one."
I'm the director, and the star, and that means I'm in charge.
A new movie where I win. Where shit works for me and I'm make things happen the way I want them. A movie where I'm in control of my destiny, and I'm strong, and I'm grounded, and I'm just not fighting anymore.
Instead I'm surrendering. And I'm finding my power in that surrender.
And I'm going to focus on this new movie. And I'm going to focus on it hard. I'm not going to let those old replayed scenes pollute this production, HELL NO.
And when I feel that old fear rising and little voice that tries to tell me I'm dreaming that it will be the same, that I'm kidding myself, that I'm going to end up that old lady pushing a shopping trolley, I'm going to thank it for reminding me of the movie I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN.
And I'm going to dig deep, so fucking deep right down into the depths of potent, shining soul I house, and I'm going to win.
I'm going to beat the little voice. I'm going to smash it and show it, NOT ANYMORE.
NOT THIS MOVIE. NOT THIS FEAR. NOT THIS LIFE.
And I'm going to welcome the change. I'm going to embrace and throw my arms wide open to it and let it grow me intot he human I came here to be.
But first I'm going to let myself cry.
I'm going to let my heart open and release the sadness I've held that my once true love died.
I'm going to let the little girl whose scared to move on have her say and let her tears fall for all the times she was let down and left to pick up the pieces.
I'm going empty the pain I've held that's convinced me that change hurts, and that I won't survive it.
And I'm going wrap my own arms around my aching heart and let it cleanse.
And then I'm going to pick myself up, take a deep breath and start again.
Darling, change doesn't have to hurt. And you too can learn to let go and welcome it into your life.
No matter how hard it seems right now, it can and will get easier. And in the moment you choose to let go and create a new movie, the old one is already dissolving.
If you need help embracing a big life change that's happening for you right now or coming up in the future download my free pdf:
This guide will take you through a powerful process that will not only help you manage the change but master it.
Sending love and may change, change your life for the better!