Take everything negative about your toxic mother and flip it.
There's a collective mother wound of shame, guilt and oppression energetically passed down from otherwise well meaning mothers, maybe you've heard of it?
And then there's the toxic mother wound.
Toxic mothers are more common than we want to acknowledge and the wounds they inflict run deeper than we recognize, the earth's crust doesn't quite cover it.
Toxic mother wounds (TMW) are hard to heal because the erode at the very sacredness of a child’s worth and existence.
I mean if your own mother doesn't love you, who the F will? It's a common dialogue the ego loves to replay. It's far from true of course, but to a fragile heart and self esteem it's a shitty poison.
Adults who’ve been badly hurt by toxic mothers can understandably hold an unrivaled fiery resentment and a filthy anger having endured the deep pain and devastation that comes from hands and hearts we all know were meant to love and protect.
It's a hideous experience for any human being to live through.
Toxic mothers can be brutal (lets not forget kids die at the hands of their mothers) but really when we strip it all back and remove the mask what's left is a desperately wounded woman drowning in her own unhealed shadow.
The degree to which a mother hurts her children is really a reflection of the inner poison filling her heart and blocking her capacity to love.
No conscious human being capable of love would ever choose anything but love, especially for her own child.
Toxic mothers operate from the deep unconscious recesses of their broken minds. Basically somewhere along the track they got fucked up.
And it’s a double edged sword because the hurt they inflict on their kids only compounds their own wound which feeds their shadow and own ferocious self loathing which they then offload back onto the very child they hate themselves for hurting.
Like all wounds, the TMW is recycled trauma that’s been passed down through ancestral lines. If you came through a toxic mother in this incarnation, the origins of her wound and yours likely aren’t of this lifetime.
Right now that mightn't mean much to you but keep reading, because this is powerful to your healing.
All mother wounds are kept alive in their son’s and daughters and no matter how much we disconnect, and sometimes we have to go all the fucking way and break up for good, until transformed we carry this same energy through our own lives and beyond. It permeates our energy field and invisibly impacts our own connection with the divine feminine.
No wonder we find it so hard to receive.
There’s only one force that can transmute the putrid energy of the TMW and that’s the power of universal, unconditional love.
We have to be fearless in our ability to love and forgive and to do that we have to choose to witness our wounded mothers from the bigger perspective, through the lens of the soul.
Many aren’t ready to forgive, the pain’s still too raw and I get it. My own wound from my mother is as vast as I’ve come across in my personal and professional life. But I'm wired for different, and I learned how to raise my consciousness high enough so that I could choose love and shake myself free from being a host to her wound.
The old wound ends with me.
I hold no hatred for my mother, I haven’t for many years. In fact I've learned to silently honor what little is left of our all but dead relationship, and that's really just our ancestral connection and her role in my birth into the physical realm.
Neither can be denied or destroyed, the soul won't allow it.
You can’t cut the cord to your own mother because the energetic connection transcends the physical, across many lifetimes. It's highly likley you travelled with "that bitch" before, who knows in what capacity. But there's a connection, and it can't be erased.
Energy can't be destroyed. And the soul seeks to include and honor the energetic hierarchy between parent and child. Besides, like all wounds the TMW is an unstoppable physical manifestation of pastlife energy, absoberd over liftimes and presenting in the now for healing.
There's no other way for unresolved negative energy to be transmuted without love and being brought into the physical realm.
And it'll keep manifesting until.
This is the crux of true forgiveness. When we learn to understand the origin and energetic nature of our wounds we can learn to respond in ways that transmute and free the energy pattern instead of expanding it.
And then we stop passing it on.
And that really has to be our focus. To flip hate into love and heal not just as an act of love towards ourselves (and fuck we deserve peace) but for the future generations incarnating through us who'll inevitably be impacted by the energetic imprints we ourselves carry and manifest.
If you’ve experienced a wound from your mother, especially a toxic one I feel you, I understand. I know your trauma and the burning resentment that fuels your reluctance to move on and make peace with it. Like me, you may never get retribution or even as much as a half arsed apology.
But you know what, you don't actually need it.
I invite you to consider the deeper perspective that your own soul is pushing for you to embody because you'll continue to be a vessel for this energy until unresolved, and eventually it will be absorbed back into your soul as it adjusts from this lifetime to the next.
And it'll present once again in your next incarnation. Yip, you're coming back, well not you, but your essence. So save your soul and your furture self the shit you went through.
It'll also keep manifesting for you in the here and now and keep blocking your connection to the divine feminine AND limit your own capacity to love.
And thats' too high a price.
Ho’opono pono (Hawaiian forgiveness and reconciliation ritual) is a powerful practice to begin this journey, I used it on my own TMW and pretty much every other wound I've ever had. Radical forgiveness is also a very powerful tool for true healing.
When you’re ready, please, seek help to heal this wound and transform the energy back into love so you can reactivate your connection with the feminine and and open you heart to unconditional love. Its the ultimate flip
In the end, we're all victims of victims and from an energetic perspective wounds are a divine unfolding of healing and forgiveness which is love in action. As Rumi once said "the wound is the place where the light enters you."
You're not damaged beyond repair, you're not unlovable, nor unworthy or undeserving. You're a divine being of co-creative power and spiritual magic and your own wounds present an opportunity for you to deep dive into the healing force of universal love and free yourself and your soul from carrying this energy for yet another lifetime.
Don't agree to keep playing host.
You deserve freedom. Reach out if you want to know about working with me .
I know the way. And I'm here to help you know it too.