Sounds darkly romantic. A fierce and ferocious passion, two entwined souls with one core. A single rhythmic beat of two once lost hearts, united, in the warmth of each others loving arms.
Two realities merging, a reunion of lifetimes coming to completion.
Insert <ripping the needle off record noise> here.
Sounds great, but that's not the reality of a Twin Flame.
That's the fantasy.
And it's a painful one at that.
Twin flame's are not our other half, as we imagine them to be. They're not our soul mate, they're not the peaches to our cream, nor the peas to our carrots.
They are not the yin to our yang.
Twin flames are something very different. They have a distinct purpose and place in our human and spiritual evolution, but they're not the half to our whole.
A twin flame's purpose in itself is deeply challenging, but when we're blinded to the nature of the twin flame relationships, it rapidly becomes a living torture.
Let me explain
Twin flames are the mirror, magnified.
They are us, and they are the worst of us because they are the unconscious parts of us that are buried way deep down in our subconscious. Fractured, lost parts that lie unhealed.
Parts in pain that need a mammoth rattling to bring them to the surface to heal.
If you meet your twin flame you'd better be ready to meet your unconscious self. Because basically you'll be dating your own negative ego.
And trust me, that's not for the faint hearted.
One of our biggest blocks to harmonious relationships is we've forgotten who we are and what our purpose here is. We're spiritual beings in physical form, and we have an agenda. And that's to use our physical bodies to feel, heal and let go of past trauma, to rebalance and tranform the dense negative energies of lifetimes, back into higher vibrations.
This is what sets the soul free.
And this is how can come to know ourselves as we truly are.
We're here to expand consciousness, and work through karma and our relationships are the arena in which we do both. We need another person close enough to mirror the dense energies back to us, so we can see them, bring them to the light of our awareness and love and heal them through transformation.
Depending on our level of consciousness twin flames can offer us the divinely guided experience of working through our biggest fears and healing our energies, together.
Or they can rip us apart.
And we continue on recreating the same past, meeting the same pain, prjecting the same reflection. The relfection that is our own, but is unrecongised.
We're drawn to our twin flame like a magnet. When we first meet the intensity can be like no other. We can get so caught up in the passion and feelings of 'rightness' that we convince ourselves "this is the half that completes me."
The one who understands me, the one who sees me, who knows my soul.
But it's not long before the reflections surface and we're slapped in the face with our own unhealed wounds and unresolved fears. And if we're not prepared for that, we can get cut to the core.
If we're not both spiritually and mentally and emotinally ready to deal with our past, we resist the reflection. Judge it as the other, and we tear our own hearts apart trying to reconile the relationship back into what it once was, or what we thought it was in the early days.
Imagine for example, that in this lifetime you have karma to balance and energies to lighten around rejection, control and self love. These feelings through energetic states have followed you your whole life. Starting first with a painful rejection in childhood, ;left by a parent perhpas, or somehone who was meant to lvoe and you didn't.
The rejection continued, in school maybe. and your first love and in the subsequent lovers you took to forget.
Maybe you hide it well, but being rejected is one of your deepest fears. And so you try to control life, to control love, to control others, hoping your control will protect you from being hurt, but it doesn't.
In fact the harder you try to control, the less power you have, the more powerless you feel.
And this trips your biggest fear, the place you try to avoid the most, loneliness. Because loneliness means that you're not worthy of love, and you just can't bear that.
Your twin flame connects with these parts of you, and you feel like they totally get you from the inside out. But because they are you, they too have the same deep wounds, and the same fears, and these same energies.
You mighn't recognise your partners fear of rejection, particularly if they're the one rejecting you. However the real rejection is always the rejection of self. And many men have a very deep rooted primal fear that they're not masculine, not worthy, not truly loveable for who they are, and that they'll fail.
They may be masters of deceit, And through their deep rooted need for validation they become crushers of women's hearts. But deep down they are little boys lost in their fear of not being loved. You mightn't recognize the unconscious roots of their behaviour because you just see it at the surface, and you can't see how it might resonate with you.
But its the same wound. It's the same as the fear that you hold, it just manifesting differently.
Your twin flame relationship then is not the antidote, often they're more poison.
Two wounded hearts don't make a whole, and they don't induce healing. Only we can heal our own hearts, and when we meet our own pain, it just doubles.
Now two lots of the same wound.
Each blaming the other.
Twin flame relationships are notoriously hard to manage but in the right hands they offer the deepest growth and learning experience that the soul craves. When navigated correctly, they can offer awakening by forcing us to make the unconscious conscious, and lead us back to the truth of who we are.
But only if we're conscious enough to travel the journey.
If you meet your twin flame know that this relationship is going to be challenging. Also know that if you both approach it from a higher level of consciousness, with open eyes, hearts and minds, and if you're willing to own your reflections, and lovingly allow the other to own theirs, then together this relationship can burn through the fear and reignite your souls into freedom.
This is a relationship that may not last. Because each person may simply not be ready to do the work it takes to bring light to their own shadow and heal.
Or once healed the flame may simply die.
But if you have the courage, the spiritual knowledge and the willingness and commitment to lean into love, then this could be a very rewarding experience in terms of your personal and spiritual evolution, whether its lasting or not.
Dawn Lee is a transformational coach, spiritual mentor, writer and catalyst for conscious connection and soul evolution. Her passion is helping others shut the door on the past, master their mind to realign with the intentions of their soul, and be their happiest, truest self. Discover how to work with Dawn.