Being an emotionally and spiritually evolved bad ass, rocks. TRULY ROCKS.
In a nut shell, it's you with maximum control. And I'm not talking the icky, psycho, insecure AF kinda control. More the kind of peace inside, peace outside, master of your own destiny, making it happen, owning your shit and attracting in everything that serves you kinda control.
The real kind, the powerful kind.
Sound good? It is.
It's within your reach to be emotionally and spiritually evolved and I know it's on your radar, coz you're sick and tired of having your stings pulled.
You're tired of being a puppet and being triggered by other people's garbage. And you know you're missing out on all the wonders that this world has for you by not having your emotions under control and spritiual shit elavated.
Here's the thing, it takes work. And you know that.
And one thing you have to work on, which is possibly one of the most important aspects of being emotionally and spiritually evolved, is getting comfortable not just standing strong and calm in your own truth, but being able to stand strong and calm in someone else’s.
We've got to be honest, and let others be honest too.
Yip, it can be hard to hear what’s really going on someone else's mind, that’s why they keep it from you. They’re scared to tell you how they really feel, what they really think, what's really going on deep down inside them, especially if it doesn't align with your expectations. Ouch.
They're scared to share their truth because they fear how you’ll react.
I’ve seen it my whole life, and in my work I see it every day. And where it’s often most obvious is in the couples work I do. It doesn't always happen this way but I like to work with each person separately first, to see what's really going on inside them. And it continues to be glaringly obvious, that each person's inner dialogue is a world away from the others.
Each other is assuming, and nobody’s sharing, because they’re afraid of the reaction they'll get if they're blatantly honest.
Our fear of honesty is conditioned, and that starts young. We get told to tell the truth but get punished when we screw up. And all around us we see discrepancies with truth. We feel it, we witness it, we pick up the vibes of its lack between our parents, in our families, and with our friends.
The more we're punished for when we get it wrong, and fuck, we're just learning, the more we fear telling the truth.
And when we fear the consequences of being honest, the truth can get lost. And we learn how to manipulate our words, deny our actions, and point the finger. What we’re really trying to protect ourselves from is the discomfort we know is coming.
And from the shame, that’s the worst.
The shame that we’re bad, that we let you down. That we’re "..such a bloody disappointment."
When someone shuts down, it can be because they don't feel safe to communicate what’s going on in their mind. They’re shit scared of owning what they've done or saying what they’re thinking, and how it’ll be received.
They’ve tried in the past, when someone, (maybe us) asked for the truth and then met it with defensiveness and anger. Yeah, that’s right, we get angry when we hear the truth.
We take it personally, we feel attacked, hurt, betrayed, and let down.
- “You did what?!!”
- " I can't believe you did that.?"
- "How could you do this to me?"
Our reaction incites shame on the person, and that's why a lot of people lie. They want to avoid the shame. But in the moment that you're getting the truth, the person is being incredibly courageous, especially if what they’ve done is something they know will be upsetting.
I grew up in web of lies, and I live a world away from how I grew up, so truth lives strong in my world. I always reward it, and I encourage the courage. I don't care what you've done, I don't care how much it might hurt, I don't care what fire it lights or how hard it will be to resovle, or if means the end.
I care that you're being true, because I value truth above all else. My heart will heal from the hurt, but without truth we have problem.
There’s that great line in A Few Good Men “You can’t handle the truth.” And sadly that’s where most of us are at. We say we want it, but if it doesn’t align with our expectations we can’t handle it emotionally. And we flip out.
We get triggered, our fears rush to the surface, we go into a spin of what if means about us as partners, lovers, parents, friends and we lose our shit. And in that moment we're teaching the other person that it isn't safe to be honest with us.
But we can't have it both ways.
We can't say "tell me the truth" and then jump off the cliff and expect the person to trust us enough to be honest again.
Nobody’s perfect, and we can't be controlled. Oh yeah maybe on the outside, for a while. But you'll never control another human being on the inside, and the inside counts more than anything. It's driving the show.
And that's why we have to get a hold of our inner world and get emotionally evolved because emotion is the language we communicate to the Universe with. It creates our reality and if we fear truth, if we get all bent out of shape because someone fucks up and doesn't fulfill our expectations, we hurt ourselves. We pollute our own field.
No doubt, some things are hard to hear, and just as hard to say:
- "We need to talk."
- "I don't love you anymore."
- "I've met someone else."
- "I spent all our money."
- "I've got an addiction."
- "I said something I shouldn't."
- "I lied to you."
- "I don't feel the same."
- "I don't trust you."
- "I'm hurt that you …."
- "I slept with someone else."
- "I don't know if I can be the person you want me to be."
- "It was me, I did it."
When we deny someone the freedom to share their truth we build a wall that cuts us off not just from them but from our own truth, because we're resisting what is. And we're doing it out of fear. And what we avoid creates an anxiety in our body, that is the signal that we're out of alignment.
And you know what, it's ok, No matter how hard the truth, it's ok. Truth sets us free, and if someone doesn't love you anymore, you NEED to know that. Because it's the most painful and loneliest place to be in relationship with someone who's stopped loving you. And people do stop loving each other.
If we want to evolve and if we want to have balanced, easy, true, authentic, deep and meaningful relationships with all our people, we have to be able to step back from our fears, and receive truth when it lands.
We have to learn to stand strong and calm and hold space for the words that can hurt.
Hold space for the confessions, and admissions or wrong doing.
Hold space for the stories and fears and misunderstanding we want to hide from each other, but that need shared.
Hold space for the courage and sacredness of truth as a powerful healer, because ultimately that's what it is. It isn't truth that hurts, but our resistance to it, and the stories that we tell against oureselves. That's why we suffer.
Truth is one of my most treasured values and the backbone of my business. Truth is really what people come to me for, even if they don’t realize it, they want the truth.
They’re sick of the lies, and the emotional betrayals, and they’re sick of being mentally and emotionally hijacked by others. They want to realign and be strong.
They’re over being blamed and shamed, and guilted and doing the blaming and shaming and guilting.
Their hearts don't want the pain any more.
Their souls don’t want it either.
And that’s what I’m here for. To help you be the emotionally and spiritually evolved bad ass that can stand strong and calm, not just in your truth, but in all truth.
Dawn Lee is an emotional & spiritual evolution coach™, writer and teacher with a passion for melding psychology, coaching and spirituality with her own unique intuitive wisdom and lived experience. Dawn's expertise is helping you out of crisis and into clarity to reclaim happiness, peace, love and connection from the inside out. Her mission, to help others live happy, strong and aligned. Find out more about working with Dawn here.