To casual sex or not to casual sex, that is the question.  And its a good one.....


Apart from the emotional messiness that can arise from having casual sex, (given that typically women tend to be more motivated by security and men by freedom) there’s the energetic issue that many women, you included, may be largely unaware of.


And energy is everything.


For many single women (and those in the market for a monogamous partner), who haven’t had the most satisfying or respectful relationships in the past, and who haven’t done the deep inner work to connect back to their inner feminine and are feeling the tug of loneliness and boredom, the lure of casual sex can be a hot temptation.


What they don’t realize however is that sex has a massive impact on the energetic container that holds the energies of our inner feminine and inner masculine, and is our point of attraction for relationships.


Where things can become messy is that when we have sex, it’s not just bodily fluids we absorb, its also energy.


We absorb the energy of the person we have sex with and they absorb our energy too. And this means that not only are we absorbing his energy, but all the energies he's absorbed from all the people he's had sex with.


If he’s having casual sex with you, he’s having it with other women too.



Where this gets even messier is when we acknowledge that many women who engage in casual sex can often be hooked into low frequency energy patterns around not valuing themselves and their bodies.   


So if he’s absorbing low frequency energies, then he's bringing them into your energy system and you’re absorbing them too.


And before you get your knickers in a knot, this isn’t judgement or criticism. Women who have casual sex are as worthy as the Queens who don’t, its simply that many haven’t yet claimed their worth and stepped into QUEENDOM.


Most women in Queen energy have learned the hard way. And it’s that they’ve been through the fire and know just how fucking challenging it is to create a container of high energy, that they’re not about to let any Tom, Dick or Harry and the million women they’ve slept with dump their energetic load into them.


To be in Queen energy you have high boundaries and exact the impeccable standards of the high feminine, making you mostly unavailable to casual sex.


Most women the guy(s) you’re having casual sex with aren’t in Queen energy.


It's widely recognized that many men, although drawn to casual sex, aren’t emotionally available to the many women they casually sleep with.  Because subconsciously they typically don’t want to attach to a woman who’s energetically holding a low frequency.


And for want of a better expression, they think they know where she’s been.


They also know, only too well what men who sleep around are like, after all, they are one.  And they know where they've been. And instead they seek a woman in a higher frequency as a life partner.  It's double standards, I know.


Basically, he doesn’t mind fucking you, but he won’t take you home to meet his mama. 


Our energy systems can get so muddied with the imprints of other people's energies; it can take years to clean up.


And also, the deeper patterns of shadow energy we carry that lead us into comprising our standards and values, expand every time we do so.


And we become more stuck in the pattern.



And the journey just gets harder, and we keep falling back into the low frequency patterns we’re desperate to get out of, and that we attract men with.


King energy can’t align with anyone who isn’t in Queen energy.



What also makes the journey challenging is that as we up-level and move towards empowerment we can be tested. The prostitute archetype energy pattern for example tests our standards and our commitment to our values by tempting us to see just how committed we are to enacting higher standards.


It’s this test that, depending on how we act in the face of temptation either locks down the low frequency energy further, or locks in the high frequency energy.


If we’re tempted, but turn it down, meaning we act in high feminine, that’s the new frequency we lock down.



And likewise if we succumb to temptation and compromise, we fall back into the lower frequency energy and lock that down further.  It's only when we do differently, that we can stabilize the higher energetic state. 


What’s also part of the test is how we manage our response if we give into temptation. If we shame ourselves, we fall further into the grips of prostitute archetype and the perception of unworthiness.  So if you don’t pass the first test, you want to at least pass the second.


Shame is a soul eating emotion. And you can’t shame yourself into a higher frequency.


Getting clear on what you value in a man and relationship is crucial.  Because without knowing what you value you won’t always know when you’re comprising.


And far from thinking that not having casual sex will lose you his attention, the opposite is true. Unless he has no intention of being emotionally available to you, in which case, if you’re looking for a relationship you don’t want him anyway.


And if you’re happy to proceed, remember, you take on the energy of all the other women who proceeded before you, and opened themselves up to him inserting himself into them without knowing who he is, where he's been and what energies he's carrying.


If you're missing intimacy and sex, there are others ways to ensure your pleasure in between relationships that aren't damaging to your energy system.  In-fact they can be incredibly healing, and help catapult you into the realms of higher feminine.


And you might argue you know how to protect your energy, (and maybe you do because you understand the power of intention) but it takes an incredible amount of subconscious clearing, shadow alchemising and inner work to truly get to that point.  And the truth is, very few human beings are close to being there.


And those who are recognize, as Maya Angelou once eluded to, we have diamonds at the meeting of our thighs. I agree, and I can tell you, only the most noble, worthy and trusted hands get to handle mine.


Of course what you do with yours is up to you....


If you're looking for a monogamous, secure relationship with a man in King energy, you'll need to end this pattern and it's energetic impact for good, so you can step into a high feminine frequency. If you're ready for that, it could be time we talked... here for how to work with me 1:1.