Tornadic Supercell warning; your coiffed hair is not the only thing about to get messed up. This is one violent motherfucker of a storm; more over-brewed and bitter than cheap truck-stop cafe coffee. And it's headed your way.


Hold tight Dorothy, you're about to leave Kansas.


And btw, Glenda's on vacation.


You're at the mercy of the wicked witch of the west, and we already know the wizard is just some limp dick old man hiding behind the curtain.

Kinda like your husband, since you stopped paying him any attention.

Which puts you in some kind of predicament.

It's all catching up on you my pretty.

And no, it's not just a bad dream you can rouse yourself from. Oh you need to wake up alright, but this storm ain't passing anytime soon.

And dead in the eye, your relationship, spinning out of control like that little old house.

And you have no idea how to make it all stop.

And you're even shit scared about when it does because it's going to spit you right out of your marriage. And no matter many time you click your red

Jimmy Choos, you'll not find you're way home.

Honey you're lost.

I know you're smart and exquisitely beautiful, you're also tragic. If Marilyn

Monroe and Alb Einstein had a love child, sister, you'd be it.

But you can not think your way out of this one. You're head is about to explode and your perfectly placed eyelash extensions can bat like moth wings on a hot light, the storm will keep coming, throwing more than just dust in your face.

Here's what you need to know.

In the eye of the storm is your greatest fear, it's also the portal back to the power you gave away a long time ago.

Power you now need to save not only your relationship, but also yourself.

You're out of control.

You are the storm.

And I'm the new exquisitely twisted witch.

The one who can help you get back home.