Life's hard when you don't trust people, finding love is harder.
How can you let your walls down and get close to someone with that constant nagging feeling that eventually, they're gonna do what everyone else did?
They're going to hurt you.
Let you down.
Screw you over.
You'd let it all go and live in a cave, but the truth is you deeply yearn for love and connection. You want your someone. You want to be held, to be known, to be happy and safe in a loving, lasting relationship.
But you don't trust anyone.
And that's the dilemma you face.
If this rings true for you, you may have a subconscious attachment, rooted in childhood, to abandonment.
Subconsious attachments are formed deep within. They're a response to a feeling or emotional state that as a child we were exposed to, and then forced to overcome.
It all starts with an original wound, a first hurt. Maybe it was a parent leaving, a beating from a harsh father, a disconnect from our mother. Some trauma, or fear based event that shocked us and created a response in our nervous system that told us we're alone.
And worse still, it's our fault.
From our limited perspective we internalized the event as our being abandoned due to your own unworthiness, wrong doing or not enoughness. And that's the beginning of the pattern we spend years of our adult life battling to overcome.
Because of this attachment our subconscious continues to recreate the same feeling and energy of the original childhood wound. We attract into our field then people we can’t trust, people who hurt and/or abandon us all over again, so we can keep experiencing the same feeling.
Why the F would we want to do that?
Well consciously we don't, but subconsciously we're attached to the feeling state. We find a distorted safety in it because it's what we know. And it's what we believe.
Another frustrating aspect of being attach to abandoned is that if and when we meet someone who doesn’t fit the pattern of hurting us, we sabotage the relationship, or we're just not drawn to them. Instead we keep magnetizing the ‘the wrong people’ and being hurt all over again.
But the real abandonment is our own, you see we do it first.
We abandon our own heart in the moment we believe we're unworthy of love.
You exist; therefore you're worthy, you always were and you always will be.
Our worth is constant. it can never change, regardless of what we believe. If we were left or let down by love growing up it certainly wasn’t because of who we are. It wasn't because we weren't lovable. NO, it was because whoever was meant to give us love, couldn't because they didn’t have it inside to give.
Their love was blocked by their own wound of abandonment and unhealed pain.
Darling, you’re carrying a story that isn’t even yours.
And now you're living it.
And that's what hurting you.
Ultimately there’s a higher perspective as to why we have these wounds in the first place. They're a pre-birth intention of our own soul. An unfolding of our karma and carried forward trauma that we’ve yet to heal.
The fear and mistrust, and hurt will keep presenting in this lifetime until we heal the original wound.
Healing is the goal.
Once we heal the pattern has no need for repeating, and it dissolves. And we’re free of it. And we no longer attract those same hurtful people into our world because we no longer vibrate with the same pain and story that they carry too.
If this resonates with you know that by acknowledging the story and seeing the thread of your own wound you're already shifting the energy around it and beginning the process of healing.
You're not a person who's unworthy of love or deserves to be hurt, you're a person who carries a subconscious burden that's manifesting to show you it's there.
You're being shown where your thoughts and beliefs are out of alignment with source and you're being guided to finding the wound so it can be healed and released and you can live free of it.
Don't keep sacrificing the happy, love filled life you could be living without this story.
If you need help working through your abandonment issues and you feel aligned with my work, connect for a Free 20 minute discovery call. Make 2018 the year you put this story to bed.